Share Southern Vermont

SHARE A MEAL FUNDRAISER EXPANDS TO CENTRAL VERMONT!

2010-07-02T03:46:00.000-07:00

The Share A Meal fundraiser is really taking off! Now, you don't have to live in the northern part of Vermont to particpate!

Eaton's Sugarhouse in South Royalton (easily accesible from Barre, Montpelier and surrounding towns) has generously agreed to join this event!

Eat at Eaton's between the hours of 7am and 3pm on EITHER Saturday, July 10th OR Sunday, July 11th and they will donate a percentage of their profit.

All proceed go directly to the training fund for board members of SSV, ensuring no Vermont family has to face their tragic moment alone.

Please - copy and paste, forward, and link people here at will! It is all about who you know - and perhaps someone you know, knows someone in that area!!

CLICK THE LOGO ABOVE FOR DIRECTIONS TO THE EVENT - MORE DETAILS AT OUR WEBSITE: http://www.sharesv.org/

SHARE A MEAL TO SUPPORT SHARE SOUTHERN VERMONT!

2010-07-01T07:08:00.001-07:00

Do you live in the Burlington area? No? Have friends that do? Family? Friends of friends?

Support SSV by spreading this event news far and wide through your online communities!

Eat at Trader Dukes for:

Lunch on Saturday July 10th between the hours of 12 noon and 2:30pm

and / or

Dinner on Sunday July 11th between the hours of 5pm and 8:30 pm

SAY: "I'M HERE TO SUPPORT SHARE SOUTHERN VERMONT!" And they will donate 15% of all food purchases directly to us.

We are raising money for four more board members to be comprehensively trained so no Vermont or New Hampshire family has to suffer through their loss alone.

SHARE, FORWARD, AND POST AT WILL!

For more details, directions and future summer events visit the website: http://www.sharesv.org/

PALS MEETING UPDATE

2010-06-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

PLEASE SEE THE MEETINGS SECTION ABOVE FOR A NEW PALS FORMAT.

To better meet the needs of families who want this support, Gretchen will respond to requests by meeting localized families in their region.

Gatherings will by request only. EMAIL GRETCHEN if you need pregnancy or parenting after loss support.

What's Violet and White and Makes Us Smile?

2010-04-28T12:31:00.001-07:00

WATER BOTTLES!

Aren't they gorgeous? And, here's the best part. We have lots...

Lots -- and LOTS!

200 to be exact.

Are you a pre-registered walker for the 2010 Walk for Hope and Remberance? Then one of these is yours - FREE!

Not registered yet? What are you waiting for???

Click on the image of the girls at the top of the blog to view and print a registration form or email us or call 802-226-7231. Then, give your last name at the registration tent and one of these violet beauties is YOURS!

If you can't attend the walk and would like to buy bottles...contact us. Hope to see you there!

Spring Resources

2010-04-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

Spring typically brings with it a sense of hope. Flowers are blooming. Animals are giving birth. Life is beginning anew and our hearts feel just the slightest bit lighter.

For SSV, however, this Spring has brought with it many new families just beginning their sad journies. We meet you where you are at, knowing that no amount of sun or fresh blooms can lift your spirit.

Below are a few links you might find supportive during this difficult time.

Exhale Magazine: A literary publication for those who experienced the loss of a baby or struggle to concieve.

Share National: A comprensive website with support for all types of loss as well as online chat rooms and forums.

Babies Remembered: A website maintained by bereaved parent, speaker and author of Empty Arms who will soon be presenting here in Vermont.

The SIMON Project: The Sudden Infant/Child Mourning Outreach Network and hosting group of Sherokee Isle's workshops in May.

2010 Memory Event Shirt - $5 Each

Action Steps You Can Take This Spring

Join us on International Babylost Mother's Day - Sunday May 2nd, at the Angel of Hope in Ruland, Vermont (corner of Deer Street and Woodstock Ave - Rt. 4). Bring a picnic lunch, any memorabilia you would like to share of your angel baby and please bring your living children. This is a time for celebration and memory.

Join us for the 2nd Annual Walk for Hope and Remembrance - Saturday, May 8th along the Toonerville Trail in Springfield, VT. Details and pre-registration information by clicking above.

Attend a support group. We meet again Wednesday, May 12th at the Whiting Library in Chester, Vermont.

Plant a tree in memory of your baby

Start a blog and connect with thousands of other hurting families who get the rollercoaster of emotions you are feeling. You can visit some existing blogs at http://www.babylossdirectory.blogspot.com/.

Email your emotions: Your 'purging' emails are always welcome. Whatever you are feeling in that moment just put it into the computer with a 'no need to reply - just venting' message in the subject line. (sharesouthernvermont@gmail.com)

Write a letter to your delivering doctor / hospital: Share with them what you appreciated about your experience, what you wish had happened, and what you'd like to see put into place for other families who live this tragedy. Even if you never send it, processing your experience in this way is powerful. Hospitals often like to hear your feedback and want to know they are meeting your needs during such a tragic time, so if you do choose to send it you will be making a difference.

Call if you need us: Our crisis line is now available. 802-738-3411

Pin It On!

2010-04-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

There is nothing better than arriving home to a package on your doorstep! (even when you know its coming...)

The personalization pin-ons for the 2010 Memory Walk came today. When I opened them I felt a rush of excitment that signaled for me the walk is only 4 weeks away!!!!!

A big thanks to Laurie Birmingham, our Vice President of the Board for suggesting these this year. They are gorgeous and will make the perfect addition to our event shirts.

If you are coming to the walk we will have markers there for personalizing but please bring any other additions you would like with you: small pictures or stickers might fit the best.

Looking very forward to May 8th!!! Pre-Registration forms are arriving daily. Be sure to get yours in soon, either by mail or attached to an email, to ensure your FREE water bottle!

CLICK THE PICTURE OF THE TWO LITTLE GIRLS AT THE TOP OF THIS BLOG TO SEE THE FORM!

Share Southern Vermont on TV!

2010-04-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

Click this link and watch a short TV show taped by Gretchen Lunderville and Cara Tyrrell at the Ludlow Public Community TV Station!

Gretchen tells her story and what brought her to Share Southern Vermont.

We talk about our new group PALS a bit.

And, of course about the upcoming Walk for Hope and Remembrance on May 8th!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH!

PLEASE NOTE: OUR NEW WEBSITE IS WWW.SHARESV.ORG NOT THE SITE 90 LINK THAT YOU WILL SEE ON OUR SCREEN. IT IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION BUT FEEL FREE TO BROWSE IT'S BEGINNINGS!

Because You Gave... We Shared!

2010-03-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

A big thank you to all who gave of their time, funds, and emotional energy in 2009 to help Share Southern Vermont get established!

The text says: "Share Southern Vermont thanks you for your generosity in 2009. Because of you we were able to host our first annual Walk to Remember, Bowling for Babies, National Wave of Light and - most importantly - support grieving families in our community. Because you gave - we SHARED."

Here's to a successful 2010, securing training funds and grant money to keep reaching further and further into the communites of Southern Vermont.

Second Annual Memory Walk On The Horizon!

2010-03-08T03:46:00.000-08:00

A formal press release will be sent out soon, but we thought you might enjoy a 'walk' down memory lane!

Above is the article and video about our first annal walk's success.

We expect this year to be bigger and better, in the sense that more people will come out to support each other and be supported.

Remember - REGISTRATION IS FREE! And if you PRE-REGISTER you get a FREE WATER BOTTLE too!

So SAVE THE DATE and join us on Saturday, May 8th along the Toonerville Trail in Springfield!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD A REGISTRATION FORM!

RESCHEDULED PALS MEETING TONIGHT

2010-02-23T03:24:00.000-08:00

THE PALS MEETING, RESCHEDULED FROM LAST TUESDAY, WILL MEET TONIGHT AT THE WHITING LIBRARY IN CHESTER VERMONT.

EMAIL GRETCHEN IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.

FEBRUARY'S PALS MEETING POSTONED

2010-02-16T05:45:00.000-08:00

DUE TO ACCESS ISSUES AND POTENTIAL STORM THE FEBRUARY PALS MEETING WILL BE ON TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23RD.

7 PM - WHITING LIBRARY

PLEASE CONTACT GRETCHEN IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE NEED OF SUPPORT OR IN CRISIS.

February Update

2010-02-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

Another month is upon us and Share Southern Vermont has been busy!

In January we submitted a grant to the Vermont Women's Fund. If they allot us the funds (notification is in April) we will be able to make and distribute 50 Forever In Our Hearts Packages. Each box includes a set of memoralizing tools - including one of our hardwood, handmade memory boxes, to set the stage for healthy grieving from the onset.

In addition, the Board of Directors has just completed a presentation for the Vermont Country Store Community Partners Foundation. The 45 minutes powerpoint presentation highlighted all that SSV has accomplished in it's first year of service to the grieving communities of Southern Vermont. A heartfelt message was also delivered by a parent panel, driving home the purpose of Share to grieving families.

We asked for enough funds to train two more board members as grief counselors and meeting leaders. We also asked for community event sponsorships enabling us to offer the Walk for Hope and Remembrance and the Wave of Light candle lighting ceremony without any registration costs or fees. Both events are services to greiving families and those who support them.

THIS MONTH'S MEETING ARE:

Grief / Loss: Wednesday, February 10th - 7pm in the Community Room of the Whiting Library in Chester, Vermont.
PALS - Pregnancy and/or Parenting After Loss Support: Tuesday, February 16th, in the same location.

Please join us for which ever meeting(s) best suit your current needs. As always, contact us for additional information. See the top of the blog for email contact links.

FIRST PALS MEETING TONIGHT

2010-01-19T13:36:00.000-08:00

If you have lost a baby and are currently pregnant or parenting after your loss(es), feel free to join in the first PALS meeting tonight.

Pregnancy after loss is scary, causing us to have thoughts and behaviors not like our typical selves.

Parenting after loss is often filled with anxiety and questions that seem unable to answer.

This group is to support both stages of your life.

If you need support please come. 7pm, in the community room of the Whiting Library - Chester, Vermont.

National Share Newsletter and Submission Opportunity

2010-01-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

If you are a bereaved parent you may already be sent the Sharing newletter put out by the National Share office.

If not, we will link to it here every two months for you to access. Each issue has a topic.

The January/February 2010 Sharing newsletter is now available online at http://www.nationalshare.org/Jan-Feb_2010_with_cover.pdf. The topic is Meeting Milestones and we hope you enjoy it.

The editors are always looking for sumbissions to match a future topic. If you experience fits the topic, feel free to send in your piece.

The topic for the March/April 2010 issue is Recurrent Loss. If you have experienced recurrent pregnancy losses, we invite you to share your experiences with other readers. We are looking for stories of how you coped, any answerers you received, and how you eventually felt hopeful for the future. The submission deadline for this issue is February 1. Please send your submissions to rcarlson@nationalshare.org.

PALS - Pregnancy & Parenting After Loss -- A New Support Group Founded by Share Southern Vermont

2010-01-04T18:01:00.000-08:00

A year ago, when Share Southern Vermont held it's first grief support meeting, we knew our mission: to support grieiving parents by meeting them where they currently needed the most support.

This 'place' changes over time. Just as some parents weave in and out of meetings depending on how they are feeling that month, others reach a place where attending the support group becomes uncomfortable for a time. This typically happens when the couple becomes pregnant again, especially when the mother begins to show.

Although your grief for your angel baby is by no means diminished, it is now coupled with intense fear and anxiety about the baby you now carry. As one mother recently put it, 'censoring' which emotions and feelings are appropriate for support meetings when the couple across from you may be struggling to concieve is too hard.

We, the founding directors of SSV, have always known this day would come. Loss cripples us for a time, then - for most of us - leads us to a place where we have a desire to try again. And so, the new year leads us to a place of natural growth. We are adding a a PALS group to our support services. It stands for Pregnancy / Parenting After Loss Support. It is an additional service, because, sadly, new parents will always be joining us in our second-Wednedsay support meeting.

If you are currently pregnant with your Rainbow baby, actively trying, or are parenting your child after loss and find you have overwhelming emotions you would like to share with others going through the same thing we offer you to have a safe place to do so.

Gretchen Lunderville, mother to Noah - 9 years in heaven, and two living children has lovingly agreed to facilitate this group. The first meeting will be Tuesday, January 19th, 7pm in the Community Room of the Whiting Library in Chester, Vermont. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to email her.

Please understand, you are welcome at both meetings. Just because your focus is on health, pregnancy, and delivering a healthy baby does not mean that you have 'finished' or even 'taken a break' from grieving the baby who left you. We only want you to feel like there is a forum to express your pregnancy and parenting related emotions without taking on any additional concern or guilt about others in the group.

Whatever you need...when you need it. If you need to come and share, please do.

Shaws Community Rewards Program

2009-12-28T17:40:00.000-08:00

As part of our New Year inititive, we have been looking for ways to raise money without soliciting direct donations. They are always greatly appreciated, but with the economy still so tentative, we've looked to large company's exisiting charity programs to partially support us.

Recently, we announced how you can earn money for SSV simply by downloading the Goodsearch and Goodshop toolbar to your computer and selecting Share Southern Vermont as your charity of choice. The estimated numbers are astounding.

Today we received confirmation of another earning opportunity.

If you live in the Northeast and shop at Shaws or Star Market, please consider linking your store rewards card to Share Southern Vermont's Community Rewards ID # 49001024535.

Simply go to www.shaws.com/communityrewards and follow the linking directions. 1% of any purchases you make on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday will be donated quarterly to Share Southern Vermont!

Thanks in advance for taking the time to link your card! Feel free to forward this link with our rewards number to any of your friends, family or co-workers.

We can make a difference! Together, one cart at a time, we can raise much needed funds for Share Southern Vermont so no family has to walk their grieving road alone.

Happy Birthday SSV!

2009-12-22T03:30:00.000-08:00

A year ago today a large envelope arrived in the mail. As I slid out the thick crested paper a tear fell from my cheek. We did it!

I read, "The office of the Secretary of State heareby grants a Certificate of Incorporation to SHARE SOUTHERN VERMONT, INC. a Vermont domestic nonprofit corporation, December 22nd, 2008."

It would be a few more months and a ton of paper work later before the IRS 501 c 3 certificate arrived, but it did.

I wrote the by-laws tentatively, wording things so that if no-one else found this cause worth supporting, I could be the solitary board director for the first year. I needent have worried.

Over the course of the last year four other beautiful, talented, motivated, and selfless greiving mothers have found places on the board. Each fills a need the others cannot. Their grief journies span from 1 year to 24 years.

We are strong. Together we have accomplished more in the last 24 months than even I dared to imagine and big doors are opening for us in the new year!

Tonight we, the five board members of Share Southern Vermont, will sit around a table in a fancy resturant. We will reminise. We will share stories never told. We will pat each other on the back, just a little, knowing lives have been changed. We will raise our glasses high in memory of the babies who brought us together, hoping they are looking down on us, smiling.

Raising my glass will be like blowing out a candle for me, as I doubt there will be cake. I share my wish with you.

I wish that in 2010 every hurting family in southern Vermont learn of SSV and uses our services. I wish that by the end of the year on-site hospital grief care is happening, creating good grief practices from the very beginning of familiy's journies. I wish that every rainbow baby in our group will be born, alive and screaming cries of joy into their parent's hearts.

This is my wish.

Thanks for a great first year! If you would like to leave us a birthday wish...please do! Perhaps it will come true...

DECEMBER'S SUPPORT MEETING POSTPONED

2009-12-09T03:44:00.000-08:00

DUE TO THE STORM AND THE DISTANCES MANY DRIVE TO SIT WITH US DECEMBER'S SUPPORT MEETING IS POSTPONED.

MAKE UP DATE IS NEXT WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16TH, 7PM COMMUNITY ROOM AT THE WHITING LIBRARY IN CHESTER VERMONT.

IF YOU NEED SUPPORT IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE CALL.

IF YOU WERE PICKING UP ANGEL ORNAMENTS AND WANT THEM MAILED, EMAIL ME.

IF YOU CAN'T MAKE IT NEXT WEEK, AND WANT SOMEONE TO CHECK IN WITH YOU BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS, EMAIL US.

STAY SAFE...

Show and Tell: What Do Technolgy and Philanthropy Have In Common?

2009-12-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

Besides ending with the same sound? GoodSearch apparently.

A board member alerted me to this awesome internet based service.

GoodSearch and GoodShop are charity funding sites fueled by yahoo that literally shake the penny tree all year long for worthy causes. And all we have to do is, what we already do.

Hmmm, sounds too good to be true? That's what I thought at first too. Then, I read this.

http://www.goodsearch.com/press.aspx

New York Times, Oprah Magazine? Must be the real deal!

So, it's official! Share Southern Vermont is in the GoodSearch and GoodShop database! If you would like to support us all year long just for searching and shopping online, click here to add the toolbar to your browser. or cut and past the link (http://www.goodsearch.com/toolbar/share-southern-vermont)

It's that easy and the best part is that people who have wanted to support us but live too far away to attend any functions, can do this from the comfort of their own home, on their laptop, as they search for the lastest ball game scores!

Funny, the first thing I noticed when I clicked over to research them was their slogan, You Search - We Give.

Sounds an awful lot like ours, so I'll say it yet again. Because You Give, We Share!

Don't forget to check out what everyone else is Showing and Telling!

Angel Ornaments In Your Home Town!

2009-11-30T03:57:00.000-08:00

The Angel Ornament drive kicked-off at the Bowling for Babies event, but it's only just begun!

Throughout the holiday season you can order your angel ornaments, either in celebration of your living children or in memory of your angel babies. Both can be personalized with a pink, purple, yellow, or blue tag reading your child's name and the year.

Please consider supporting Share Southern Vermont by purchasing angels ($5 each) while adding classic decorations to your holiday tree!

Order online - or, call Cara at 802-226-7231.

Live in the area? We'll be set up outside Shaws in Ludlow on Saturday, December 12th from 9am on! Stop by the table and we can personalize your ornaments instantly!

If you wish to make a memorial contribution this holiday season please email Cara.

The First Of Anything...

2009-11-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

(This post duplicated at Building Heavenly Bridges)

She held my gaze with tears in her eyes, words tumbling out, eager to be free and I, just as eager to hear them.

"I'll never forget the day I was reading the paper online and saw a link to 'new infant loss group'. Of course, I had to click on it and read your article. Tears fell as I read it again and again. I printed it out and held it, wanting to give it to my daugther but knowing it wasn't yet time."

I smiled, already knowing the ending to this story, yet needing to hear it again if for no other reason to solidfy that the facts of the last year are actually true, that I haven't been living a dream that a good solid pinch will wake me up from.

"That was last February" she continued, tears more prominant than ever, "and here we are, in November - bowling. My daughter found you, found your group."

Yes, yes she did and we are so grateful for her strong presence, both in group and as part of our ever expanding board.

"My prayers were answered" she concluded and I found that we were holding hands, joined in our reverie even as the chatter of giggling families and clatter of bowling balls whirred around us.
***

The event was everything is was meant to be. As always, all the right people were there and received exactly what they needed. It was advertised as a 'celebration of family' and one pan of the room conveyed that our intentions had indeed been met. Yet, even as balls hit gutters, pizza was consumed and cheering ensued as someone threw a strike, our babies were remembered, were there amounst us, smiling angels on our shoulders.

I stop short when I think what has been achieved in just one year and look forward to the lighthearted celebratory conversation that will spin around the dinner table as the board members dine together on December 22nd, our one year anniversary.

Even so, there is so much more to be done. Lest we not lose our momentum, but let it gather speed propelling us futher down the track of expansion, reaching every family, every parent, every heart broken by loss.

And now, a few images from our day... The lanes...

The Pizza!

The angel ornaments, personalized and hung on our tree!

The memory bands...

A few of our Angel Babies above each lane...

Just a section of the raffle!

And, the main event: The Bowling!

And, as 'on her game' as ever, my very own comedian taking a 'little rest from the ball game'

Until next year a family friendly psa: Bowling is fun. It makes you laugh. It causes you not to take life, or yourself very seriously for a couple hours. Go Bowl!

Top Ten Reasons to Come to Bowling for Babies!

2009-11-14T17:17:00.001-08:00

10) You can purchase raffle tickets online, even if you can't come in person! (And with the majority of items worth over $50 and over they are a steal at $5/6, $10/15, and $20/40!)

9) It's raining.

8) An after church / brunch / morning-in-front-of-cartoons activity is good for the moral.

7) The raffle items are AMAZING!

6) Goodman's woodfired pizza is the absolute best!

5) The ice-cream-which-must-not-be-named sounds scaringly similar to a cat and mouse duo.

4) Quality family time is hard to find.

3) $25 for a family activity and meal is unheard of!

2) It's a drop-in format and all money raised goes to a great cause!

And, the number 1 reason to attend Bowling for Babies is: __________________.

You fill in the blank, for even if you haven't had a loss (and, believe us we pray you haven't lived it) the memories you make during this celebration of family will stay with you long after the last ball has rolled!

See you tommorrow!

BOWLING FOR BABIES IN TWO DAYS!

2009-11-13T14:41:00.001-08:00

It is incredibly hard to believe, especially if you read the Vermont Journal this week (which grossly misprinted the date of the event), but our Bowling for Babies family fundraiser is in two days!

On SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15TH we will gather together to remember, to bowl, to raise some money, and to have fun!

The RAFFLE is packed with GREAT stuff!! Click over and buy some tickets online, and be sure to put them in their virtual buckets!!

Share Southern Vermont On TV!

2009-11-06T16:12:00.000-08:00

I don't have a problem with public speaking. This is well known. In fact, if you watched the video of the memory walk you not only saw me speak a great deal, but sing on camera as well!

That said, walking into a tv studio and intentionally taping a promo for an event is not something I've ever done...until today that is.

That's right! With my youngest gaping at me from the corner chair and being ever-so-quiet, I recorded this 4 minute segment on Share Southern Vermont, its history, its mission and its current focus: Bowling for Babies.

If for no other reason than to see how hard it is to show genuine expression while being filmed, click over and watch it!! (If ever I harbored a secret desire to become a soap opera star it was unceremoniously sqashed today!)

http://lpctv.org/programs/bowling-babies

And -- don't forget, if you would like to sponsor a lane in memory of an angel baby it is only $25!

Show and Tell: All The Right People

2009-11-04T13:38:00.001-08:00

In December of 2008 I hatched an idea to start Share Southern Vermont. I had no idea what it would become or who would share the ride with me. Over the course of the last year I found myself saying again and again, "All the right people with all the right skills seem to be showing up!"

The picture above is from our recent candle lighting ceremony on October 15th. It is our board of directors, each a bereaved mother with a strong spirit and a mission to help others navigate their grief.

Because of their energies we have accomplished much this year, tranistioning notions into ideas, those ideas into action, and celebrating the realities that followed.

One of the realities I have pined for is a website all our own. Blogger gave SSV a comfortable home this year, but only so much can be accomplished on this site. Thanks to the considerable efforts of a grieving father, we now have a website we can call home -- complete with it's very own menu bar and pages for each of our outreaches.

It is, of course, in need of some tweaking but the overall effect brought tears to my eyes!

For show and tell, I offer our new site: http://www.sharesouthernvermont.site90.com/.

And, while you are there, click on the EVENTS tab. Hard to believe, but our first annual Bowling for Babies fundraiser is only 11 days away!

You can preview raffle items. You can even buy tickets online and put them in virtual containers!

Lastly -- because of the new site, this blog will transition into exactly that, a place to record ideas and emotions about our events.

So, look for big changes round these parts because we plan to do even more and reach even further in 2010!

What is the rest of the class Showing and Telling?

An Angel on My Doorstep

2009-10-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all of you who braved the weather to come out and light candles in memory of our lost little ones.

For those of you who lit candles at home or on the road, know that we were thinking of you intensely as we shared memories, music, warm cider and homemade donuts.

A HUGE thank you to Paul Ippolito for providing the music, Eris Proctor for documenting the event with photos, Mendon Mountian Orchard & Motel for the warm cider, Linda Johnson for homemade donuts, and all the other volunteers who made this possible.

We are already looking forward to next year when we continue to fill the wish board, reach even more families with our offer of support, and hope that winter temps hold off just a little longer so our Friday night ceremony will not require wool hats and gloves.

As soon as I receive the photos, I will update the website.

Next support meeting date: Wednesday, November 11th, 7pm at the Whiting Library in Chester Vermont.

Followed, closely by our first big family fundraising event: Bowling for Babies on Sunday, November 15th at Springfield Bowl in the plaza.

Last night I mentioned that many great items for the Chinese Raffle were already arriving and that November 1st, their photos would be available here for preview. I've also said before that the raffle tickets will be available to our online readers with items requiring shipping costs being noted.

What I didn't mention were some of the 'big' sponsors I had approached. I thought it better not to get my hopes up. Some I heard back from and was pleasantly surprised. Others, I didn't. And yet more sent beautifully written, "great cause but we can't help you out" letters.

When I got home this afteroon there was a box waiting on my front stoop. I didn't dare to hope - and then I saw the image on the side

and I allowed myself to pray that the one I requested was actually inside that box.

It was. And I'm still not quite able to contain my excitment so I must share it with you a tad bit early.

Without any further ado, this amazing angel bear will be part of our raffle. I hope whoever wins it will find some comfort in it. Click on the image to see a bigger, clearer visual.

See, sometimes angels do hang out on my porch. I never had any doubts.

BOWLING FOR BABIES FUNDRAISER - SAVE THE DATE!!

2009-09-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

JOIN US ON SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15TH FOR OUR FIRST ANNUAL BOWLING FOR BABIES FUNDRAISER!

WHERE? SPRINGFIELD BOWL, LOCATED IN THE PLAZA. CLICK FOR LOCATION.

WHEN? DROP IN ANY TIME BETWEEN 11 AM AND 1PM TO BOWL A GAME. THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY FUNDRAISER. BRING THE KIDS -- THE MORE THE MERRIER!!

AND DON'T FORGET OUR CHINESE RAFFLE. WE ALREADY HAVE AMAZING ITEMS COMING IN AND ARE SURE TO HAVE PLENTY MORE BY THE DAY OF THE EVENT.

THE RAFFLE WILL TAKE PLACE AT 1PM, AFTER BOWLING. YOU NEED NOT BE PRESENT TO WIN! BEGINNING NOV 1ST, RAFFLE ITEMS WILL BE AVAILABLE TO PREVIEW HERE - AT OUR WEB SITE!

ALSO AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE WILL BE:

ANGEL ORNAMENTS - $5 EACH

"SHARE - FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS" AWARENESS WRISTBANDS - $3 EACH OR 4 FOR $10

MORE DETAILS TO FOLLOW...BUT MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW!

COME AFTER BRUNCH...

COME AFTER CHURCH...

BUT PLEASE DO COME AND HAVE SOME FUN!

BECAUSE YOU GIVE -- WE SHARE!

Show and Tell - Just The Right Message

2009-09-23T17:19:00.001-07:00

Last month, when the Share Southern Vermont board of directors met we voted to order 500 silicone bracelets to sell as part of our upcoming fundraiser.

We knew we wanted to blend the pink and blue colors to represent our angel babies.

We knew we wanted Share's logo on the band.

We could not decided on what to imprint, what small selection of words could best describe our collective emotions as we remember our babies, forever.

We tossed around a number of possibilites:

Well Loved ~ Always Remembered

Share ~ Remember Our Babies

Well Loved ~ Remembered Always

Share ~ Remembering Our Babies

Share ~ Touching Lives, Healing Hearts, Giving Hope

In the end - we went simple: SHARE (logo) Forever In Our Hearts

We were so excited to have something tangible, yet discreet, to keep with us daily as we remember our babies.

They arrived today - all five hundred!!

And they look amazing! My camera can't do them justice - but let's just say as a consumer and a business owner I've never been more please with a product ordered all but sight unseen.

That is, of course, except for the one I found that reads COLBERT CO. HS BAND -- PRIDE OF THE TRIBE and the other boasting, EL DORADO CRIME STOPPERS 863-INFO.

So, perhaps 498 have made it here, and if you play for the Colbert high school band or are fighting crime in El Dorado, then make sure you read your band as you receive it. You may be raising awareness for a cause you didn't even know about!

Buuuuut, if you are a grieving parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend or supporter and would like to get one of these awareness bands around your wrist, check back on October 1st when they go on sale and the fundraiser kicks off!!

They will be available at the National Wave of Light event. They will also be available on line with payment through paypal and shipping will be minimal.

What are you showing and telling?

Show and Tell: It Takes A Village - An Internet Connection - And A Community Of Wide Open Hearts!

2009-09-16T17:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, I returned 'back to work', a phrase that seems as innacurate at the actions that accompany it for I worked last year.

I spent one year of my life establishing Share Southern Vermont as an IRS approved, 501 (c) 3 not-for-profit organiztion. It was alot of work. I loved every second of it.

And, as I readied to transition back into the commuting, lunch-packing, meeting attending working world I fantasized about how seamless the transtion would be. Fantasized is the key word in that last sentence.

I have - as usual - bit off more than I can chew in that three major SSV events are supposed to go off without a hitch by the holidays even as I set the coffee maker every evening in preparation for the day of teaching ahead of me.

Two days ago I sent this letter to all the families and friends in my address book.

It is hard to believe but Share Southern Vermont is nearing its first birthday! On December 21st we will have been serving families touched by pregnancy and infant loss for one year. It has been one of the most defining and heart affirming years of my life.

On the heels of Emma's 9th birthday we are launching into our busiest time of the year! Here are our next big events:

Thursday - October 15th - Participating in the National Wave of Light on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Date: TBA - BOWLING FOR BABIES, a family orientated fundraiser with raffle built in. We will also be kicking off our, Angel Ornament Drive during this event.

As I am back to work, directing this non-profit is a bit more challenging timewise and I have finally agreed to ask for some help. If you are able to help in any way, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Amazingly, some of these amazing people took time out of their busy lives and baby makin' to respond.

Many people have responded to the call for crocheted angel ornaments (picture above this post) and they are feverishly wielding that size 1 needle!!

Martha from A Sense of Humor Is Essential made this gorgeous necklace for the raffle.

Baby Smiling in Back Seat, from her post on bedrest in the hospital, wrote: "I'd like to donate some pottery for the raffle. The ones I have in mind are two large bowls that match and nest one into the other, serving size or mixing size if you're making a large recipe. I didn't throw those bowls (I can't make things that big yet!) but I did glaze them. Retail value is at least $100, probably more."

The Steadfast Warrior wrote, "As a photographer, I'd be more than happy to donate a print for the raffle! I was thinking a 5x7 print in an 8x10 frame? Since I'm due Oct.15th and she could come at any point I'd like to send it before the end of the month." This is the print I chose.

As a nation we seem to be valuing each other's talents and abilites more than ever. Purchasing has taken a back seat. Bartering finally got to ride shotgun. And so, I call out to you -my local community, our ALI community, your family and your friends - appealing to your considerable skills.

Do you have an item, whether large or small, valuable or symbolic, you could offer?

Asking for help isn't my most developed skill. Know that I trust you explicitly to do it. But I must for I have a responsibility to the familes we serve and the ones that will join us in sadness.

Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for your support. Because You Give - We Share.

What are you showing and telling?

Share Southern Vermont Joins In The Wave of Light on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

2009-09-10T17:40:00.000-07:00

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan Proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, "…When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn't a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes."

Share Southern Vermont, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support invite you to join them as they participate in the National Wave of Light Ceremony on Thursday, October 15th. They will gather on the Chester Green to share each other’s memories while the candles burn from 7 to 8pm, joining those of other groups world wide. The flames will create a continuous wave of light in memory of all our angel babies. SSV believes that every life, even the tiniest and shortest lived deserves to be acknowledged and remembered. Cara Tyrrell, founding director of SSV states, “The parents of these children never forget. This evening is a gift we can give them, a way to show that their babies are loved and remembered all across the globe.”

As the dates fall, SSV’s monthly support group meeting gathers the previous evening, Wednesday, October 14th at 7pm in the Community Room of the Whiting Library in Chester. If you have lost a baby, regardless of how many years have passed, you are always welcome to join the group.

For more information about the origination of this event please visit http://www.october15th.com/. Candles will be provided. Please plan to arrive by 6:30 to park behind the historical society or at Cobleigh field. Please do not park along Rt. 11. You can access Chester's town map by clicking HERE.

If you would like to read a poem, journal entry, letter to your baby, or sing please contact Cara.

Calling All Craftsmen and Craftswomen!

2009-08-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

HITTING THE LOCAL PAPERS NEXT WEEK, BUT IF YOU ARE LED TO HELP WITH EITHER NEED, ESPECIALLY THE ANGEL ORNAMENTS WHICH ARE SMALL AND SHIP WELL - PLEASE CONTACT ME!

For Immediate Release: “Non-Profit Seeking Volunteer Wookworkers”

Are you a woodworker? Do you like to spend time in your shop? Have you ever experienced the loss of a baby or been connected to a family who has? Have you always wanted to know how to help?

Share Southern Vermont, Inc. is a 501 c 3, not-for-profit chapter of Share National which has been serving bereaved families and caregivers worldwide for over 30 years. At Share, bereaved parents find comfort in friendship, strength in shared experiences and hope for healing and happiness. Share’s mission is to serve these families as sadly, 1 out of 4 babies die due to pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant death in the first few months of life. Our organization is fully supported by donations.

In addition to monthly support group meetings, annual memory walks, candle lighting ceremonies, angel ornament drives, and the upcoming fundraiser: bowling for babies; Share Southern Vermont also provides families with hardwood, handmade memory boxes. Parents take some comfort in knowing they have a tangible item to keep all their baby’s precious items in. Last winter Jeremiah Tyrrell, father of Emma Grace Tyrrell born still on September 8th, 2000 and owner of Tyrrell’s Angels Construction made twenty boxes. “We anticipated them lasting throughout the year”, says Cara, Tyrrell’s wife and founding director of Share Southern Vermont, “the sad news is we aren’t going to make it. We are down to our last four boxes and it is only August.”

The frequency of loss in the Southern Vermont communities has surprised even Tyrrell. “We tell every family, ‘We are so sad you are here ~ We are so glad you came’ and I find myself saying it more and more lately. I really didn’t expect our support group to growing this quickly.” Every time a baby dies another family’s life is forever altered.

Families are always invited to attend monthly support meetings on the second Wednesday of each month at 7pm in the Community Room of the Whiting Library in Chester, Vermont. But even if they aren’t ready to sit with us it is essential each suffering family receives the same support, including receiving a memory box, to set the foundation for healthy grieving.

If you feel led to donate materials please view the wish list on their website: http://www.sharesouthernvermont.blogspot.com/.

If you are willing to make some boxes please visit the above website to view the 2010 memory box, then contact Cara at 802-226-7231 or at sharesouthernvermont@gmail.com.

All donations, both materials and time, are tax deductible. “Thank you” says Tyrrell, “to all who make the time. Because you give, we Share.”

For Immediate Release: “Non-Profit Seeking Volunteer Crafters”

Are you good with your hands? Do you know how to crochet? Looking to donate items for a great cause? On bedrest?

Consider making some angel ornaments for Share Southern Vermont's first annual holiday drive. They are anticipating needing large numbers and would gratefully accept any help you are willing to give.

If you are interested please email Cara for the pattern and additional details.

Two Is Better Than One!

2009-08-17T04:03:00.000-07:00

In planning for Bowling For Babies we ran into a scheduling snag. So, we have decided to do two events!

Bowling For Babies has been moved to November - date to be announced, when the weather gets yucky and we all want to be warm and inside! Details will follow.

Our National Wave of Light Ceremony remains on Thursday October 15th. Please click the burning flame for the history of the ceremony.

We will gather at the Chester Green in Chester, Vermont at 6:30pm.

Candles will be provided.

Please feel free to bring a picture, or other tangible item that represents your baby. There will be an opportunity to say something to your child as you light your candle. Participation is optional.

Our candles will remain lit from 7pm to 8pm.

Rememberance memorabilia will be available to purchase. As always, donations are gratefully accepted on the sidebar or by sending a check made out to Share Southern Vermont (SSV) to PO Box 22, Proctorsville Vermont 05153.

Babies are still dying. Parents are still suffering. We must support them in their time of need. We must remember for the years to come.

Bowling For Babies Scheduled for October 15th...

2009-07-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

The Share Southern Vermont board of directors has begun planning for their next big fundraiser.

Our First Annual, Bowling for Babies will be held on Thursday, October 15th 2009. This is not a random date. October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Details to follow soon. We look forward to joining the nation at 7pm in the Global Wave of Light to remember our little ones lost too soon. Click HERE to read about Oct. 15th's origination.

In the past month, Share Southern Vermont members have attended one infant funeral and sent memoralizing support to two families suffering through the loss of their babies. We are beginning to hear about these losses as they happen and must continue to raise funds to ensure we can provide support through: attendance, memory boxes, books, support guides, and memory bears and pigs for the siblings.

If you are local please save the date!
If you follow us online, please consider donating. Our goal is $1000.00.

BECUASE YOU GIVE --- WE SHARE

Home

2009-06-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

I have arrived home from vacation.

The home base office of Share Southern Vermont, Inc. is once again open. Please call or email if you are in need.

For all of you approaching July angelversaries -- we are thinking of you.

For all of you who have just lost a baby -- we are here.

In Grief, Love, and Hope...

Cara & the SSV Board of Directors

Vacation

2009-06-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

I am currently on vacation returning on the 25th of June.

Please feel free to email me and I will return it when I return.

If your need is urgent please contact the National Share Office by using the link or calling 1-800-821-6819.

In Grief, Love and Hope

Cara

Show and Tell -- Now We Can All Remember

2009-06-17T02:42:00.000-07:00

This is the full version of our Memorial Walk Video. I tried to make it informative, inspiriational, and affirming. It is 20 minutes, so grab a glass of whatever's nearest and settle in. Or, if you can't watch the whole thing now -- at least try to watch the first and last, especially if your baby's name was read.

PLEASE...feel free to forward and share at will. As soon as I figure out how to get the video to sit on the sidebar permanently then that is where it will be! But, for now I have posted the media link to the most recent newspaper article about SHARE Southern Vermont and our walk.

Show and Tell: The One You Thought Might Never Happen!

2009-06-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

The memory walk was a month ago...

After: sifting through two hours of video footage, splicing in just the right still shots, editing and re-editing titles, overlays, music, and I have completely lost track of how many hours in the SAPA editing room trying to get my PC and their army of Mac's to play nice, THE TV-READY VIDEO IS DONE!

I hold it here in my lap as I type. A pretty little disk with sleek case and a color printed label. See?

Pretty, yes? Oh, and did you see the 'produced by' line?? Heck yeah baby, I produced my first movie!

But, yeah- you knew that was coming, right? But, it won't transfer to my desktop. It refuses to be captured into my video files. Hence (she winces as she prepares to type...) I cannot show the 21 minute masterpiece to you...yet.

So, instead I offer up this 4 min montage of still photos, peppered with some titles and calming background music as an appetizer of what is to come. Enjoy.

More Show and Tell...HERE

She Said We Would

2009-06-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to announce that Share Southern Vermont, Inc. is officially a 501 (c) 3, not-for-profit corporation!

How exactly did it become official, you ask?

After a 28 page application, at least that many pages of additional requested information, projected budgets for the next three years, percentage breakdown of donation intake vs. costs, two conversations with our IRS contact person and countless other details, we recieved:

- A 2 page letter and this,

No small booklet has ever looked sweeter. I can even imagine myself curling up into the nook of the couch with a steaming cup of tea, and....the compliance guide. Sweet, huh?

Did I ever have any doubts? Nah, well - maybe, but deep down I always believed because She said we could.

And, we did.

Share National is Raffling off an AMERICAN GIRL!

2009-05-13T10:28:00.001-07:00

Do you know a little someone special who loves the American Girl Dolls?

The National Share Office is selling chances to win Chrissa, the 2009 American Girl of the Year and 13 outfits ( 12 are handmade by a Share Ambassador ). Please see the link below for more information and to see pictures of the outfits.

This is such a cool raffle!!! If you have kids into American Girls, check it out!

http://www.nationalshare.org/american-girl-raffle.html

First Annual Walk for Hope and Remembrance a GREAT Success

2009-05-11T07:39:00.001-07:00

I have posted about my emotional response to the event at Building Heavenly Bridges.

I have posted about my perfect moment with my girls after the event at The Bear and the Comedian.

But here - I say thank you to all that came - with a promise that as soon as the HOURS of footage and hundreds of still photos taken by amazing volunteers are edited, I will tell the whole story.

Suffice it to say...we had an amazing morning, even if Mrs. Sun played hide and sprinkle a little.

Next meeting this Wednesday. Doensn't matter if you are 2 months, 2 years, or 22 years removed from your loss.

Please join us.

The Sun Got The Memo...

2009-05-08T04:41:00.000-07:00

She arrived first thing this morning.

Now, if we are very hospitable, perhaps she will see fit to stay an extra day!

A Little Ditty...Re-written By ME!

2009-05-07T06:08:00.000-07:00

RAIN RAIN - RAIN TODAY - RAIN TODAY IF YOU MAY

RAIN RAIN - RAIN TODAY......BUT NOT ON SATURDAY!

Thank you - thank you very much!

Nearly There...

2009-04-28T07:34:00.001-07:00

We are in so many ways!

1)The First Annual Walk for Hope and Rememberance is only 11, yeah ELEVEN days away! Share Southern Vermont's board members are feeling so excited to share the morning with you - affirming your status as 'parent' on a weekend when that can be so difficult to do.

Don't forget to PRE-REGISTER by downloading the form and sending it to PO BOX 22 Proctorsville, VT. 05153! (donation checks made out to SSV)

2) Our board of directors is growing. The team of mothers (but please - daddies..you are MORE than welcome) coming together has great ideas and energy for our future events!

3) SSV, Inc is working hard toward non-profit, 501 c (3) status. It is a labor intensive process, but we are nearly there. To that end, you will notice some changes on this site. More specifically, you won't see some links anymore. Be assured, the valuable resources and information will return, for I will blog about them from time to time. You will just have to do the leg work to get to their site, sorry.

4) Hubby's etsy shop is a no-go. Not because he didn't want to, and not even because I cried 'not enought time', but because of the reasons sited on #3. Thank you to all who voted - and I haven't forgotten that I have to give something away!! Promise!!!

A very sincere thank you to all who have watched us grow in the last five months. We are here because of you and will continue to grow for the same reason!

See you at the walk!!!

The Post Where I Make You Believe!

2009-04-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

Not that I really need to, you believed when others didn't...

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: The Post That Affirms What We Already Knew

Yeah - that's better.

If you have followed my heart mission - Share Southern Vermont - from its grandios conception within my head then you might remember the posts where I:

Built the Bridge
Got Delayed by the Detour
Danced Across the Bridge
Wrote That Kickin' Time-For-Change Proposal (with some Mighty Blogger Help!)
Came Full Circle - And Got....M.A.D!
Took A Leap of Faith
Had a newspaper article written abour our cause
Opened a SSV bank account!
Moved SSV to it's new bloggy home
AND... (Hanging head ashamedly) Got really mad - again

And, if you haven't been following my journey then know that for whatever anger overtook me at times, flanked by frustration and envy - FAITH had them all beat by ten miles.

I have always KNOWN, not hoped or wished for or even thought possbile - but KNOWN that our mission will be fulfilled and our program will grow leaps and bounds throughout the years, touching countless hearts in every stage of their greiving process.

Well....(deep breath now, ok? You good? Sitting down?)

I am going to do this is vision : reality format, for your sake (read: it will keep it shorter) and mine (read: it will keep it shorter).

VISION: A well attended, professionally run support group that leaves people feeling like it is a safe place for them to come and share wherever they are in their grief process.

REALITY: We have had 4 meetings. People have been at everyone. New people are coming every month. We are getting the word out - we are making a difference.

VISION: We would have enough in our bank account to meet our start-up costs, gratefull accepting additional funds to further our cause.

REALITY: Check!

VISION: We would be categorized 501(c)3 Non-Profit to make the most of our outreach.

REALITY: The Eye-R-Ess has cashed our check and is currently reviewing our application. It's been a while...but hey - I guess thet are a little busy right just about now - right?

VISION: We would host grand community-awareness / fundraising events where bereaved parents are celebrated for the role they played in their baby's life. These events would open even more eyes to our mission, hence reach people who didn't know about our services.

REALITY: We are currently finalizing detalils for our First Annual Walk For Hope and Rememberance. An event of which the orginal board member and I had once said, "Heck - if it's just you and me, our husbands and our kids standing out there with a balloon - it will be a success!" Um...it's big - getting bigger everyday - almost overwhelming big - but that's the point, yes?

VISION: I would bring together a team of people who all Share the same vision, annually training another person as a program leader.

REALITY: It's happening. Our board of directors is strong. Two new bereaved mothers have just come into our group clearly saying what they envision their role to be, practially verbatim to what I have put out there into the faith ethers.

And the BIGGEST VISION OF ALL: I would create a friendly working relationship with the childbirth center at the local hospital. SHARE would be there from the time of loss - support the family as they make difficult choices and begin their grief road.

Still sitting down???

I got a phone call this last week that confirms my faith that it WILL happen. It affirms my belief that intended action with big, dedicated love behind it can NEVER fail.

Thank you for being there from day one - and holding my hand.

Thank you for picking up the story here - and becoming part of the vision.

I told you I'd share the 'happily ever after' with you- right? Consider this the 'happily...'

2009-04-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

Last week I received this email from the very talented Birdie's Mama (her sweet girl is on The Wall of Angels. )

"Charlotte's Mama and myself are going to be working on a book, a book that will be for the young siblings of babylost parents, a book that talks about the baby who is not there but is talked about and cherished. However, we are looking for an illustrator, and I would like to find either a babylost Mama or Papa to be that person.

I have not had any luck in my calls for such an illustrator, and it seems so important to have the whole book be made by babylost parents."A book like this is so needed."

PLEASE...contact her if you feel like your talent might match their vision.

So - You Want To Be Part of the Memory Walk?

2009-03-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

Great! And Welcome - wherever you have come from.

If you saw the article in the paper - Welcome!
If you heard about us on the radio - Welcome!
If you saw a flyer - Welcome!
If you heard it from a friend - Welcome!
If you are a business looking to sponsor us - Welcome!

If you are a bereaved parent - I am so very sorry for all that you have lost - and, Welcome.

This post is really a housekeeping one. So, find the category you came looking for and click on the appropriate link. If you run into difficulty - EMAIL ME - and I will sort it out for you.

Thank you so very much for your role in this Walk for Hope and Rememberance. You are so appreciated by all the grieving families we work with.

TO REGISTER - click HERE to download a REGISTRATION FORM. Either mail to: SSV, PO Box 22 - Proctorsville, Vermont (all checks made out to SSV please) or attach and send to sharesouthernvermont@gmail.com .

TO SPONSOR US - email me with 'SPONSOR' in the subject line. Include your business information, the amount you would like to sponsor the event for, and attach your logo in jpg. form to be published in the program.

TO DONATE - You can either send a check made out to SHARE SOUTHERN VERMONT to PO Box 22, Proctorsville Vermont 05153. Or, you can use the DONATE button on the sidebar through paypal. Grieving families thank you.

TO VOLUNTEER - Please, you guessed it - email me. We are always needing help.

IF YOU CANNOT ATTEND BUT WISH TO HAVE YOUR BABY'S NAME / DATE READ DURING THE MEMORIAL: Download the REGISTRATION FORM and fill out just the parts that apply to you.

IF YOU CANNOT ATTEND BUT WANT TO ORDER T-SHIRTS, MEMORY BEARS, OR MEMORY PIGS: Download the REGISTRATION FORM and fill out just the parts that apply to you.

Ok - basically, whatever you are intending to do to support SSV in this endeavor - you need to EMAIL ME! So here's the address: sharesouthernvermont@gmail.com

IF YOU LIVE LOCALLY & HAVE A TENT WE COULD USE-PLEASE CONTACT ME.

Show and Tell - It Just Feels Right

2009-03-14T20:20:00.000-07:00

We, the three board members, sat around the table tossing out ideas for our first event, while munching on oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

"We're pretty new so let's keep it small."

"Yeah- I mean, the first of anything shouldn't have expectation attached to it, right?"

"Totally. Let's keep it simple. The event is only two months away and our goal is to make the public aware who we are and what we do."

Um...if you have followed any of my blogs you know that I don't really do simple, small, or expectationless. I get ideas and they start to roll, they barrell down the mountain gaining speed and size until they collide with my other boulder sized ideas and merge. My husband chimes in with his genius suggestions and our idea spheres overlap like a zen diagram.

We delegate, to a degree, but it's mostly me asking for sponsors, making flyers, running to stores, and - God help me - loving every single second of it.

These days filled with preparation and tunnel vision so deep that I forget to stop and grab a bite to eat - just feel right. And just when stress did knock me down for a brief moment, and I sipped my soup, breathed deeply and tried to make the constant "to-do" list in my head slow down - Emma's song came on the radio. "Yes sweet girl, this is all for you, because of you."

And so - with more pleasure than I can possibly put into words - I am thrilled to Show and Tell -

SHARE SOUTHERN VERMONT'S - FIRST ANNUAL - MEMORY WALK

The t-shirts will be pale purple and have this awesome message on them:

And these totally loveable little memory bears will be on sale at the event. The pig is actually pink, but it keeps uploading as purple. (If you just must have one...let me know!)

But see, here is the thing. This wouldn't be possible without you. YOU - helped us get our start, hence become a chapter of Share National - hence access the rights to the logos - and WHA-LAA, a first -annual memory walk you have!

The poster says:

"Everyone who has been touched by the loss of a baby is welcome: parents, grandparents – family, friends and hospital staff. Refreshments and a brief memorial at the end of the walk.

Walk With Hope – Walk To Remember"

And I will. The day before mother's day I will walk in memory of all your sweet angel babies. I will also walk with you, whether you are near or far, for you had a hand in this - and I thank you.

Now, go see what everyone else is showing and telling.

Harbored Feelings

2009-03-12T07:02:00.001-07:00

The Share National Training was amazing - astounding - uplifting.

It was also a time of awakening and realization, for all who were there. We were a small, intimate group able to bond in every way, and - yes - share our losses, experiences, and desires.

I went with a game plan.
Learn about running a support group.
Learn more about different kinds of losses and how to best support them.
Learn about effective communication (read: how to break down the doors of) the hospital.

Here is what I learned:

The fear of my Rainbow Baby pregnancy is still with me. It never left. It has morphed into fear, anxiety, and uncertainty that I can raise two healthy, happy, well-adusted, compassionate, can-survive-in-this-crazy-world-even-knowing-they-have-a-sister-who-died girls. (I'm attacking this next - be assured)
I am still angry, bitter - no, devestated that no-one was there in my hospital room after the "diagnosis of death" but before the delivery to guide me, offer choices for memoralizing my Emma. I wish Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep had been called. I wish a camera had been present - period. I wish...I wish... (Doing this for other people repeteadly will take this from me - I know.)

This post is not a pity party. No, I would never use this forum for that. It is an affirmation of my continued grief and love for my baby girl. It is a way I can demonstrate that assimilation of my loss, does not mean that I have accepted it. I will never accept this. Never.

I will, however, use these grief emotions to further our cause. To reach out to more families. To deliver more memory boxes. To offer more choices. To call in more (and better) resources.

Share Southern Vermont is in a better place after this last weekend. Yes, I learned the nitty-gritty stuff about paperwork, support groups and hospital policies - but I learned something more valuable.

Checklists and achieved goals will not make this corporation thrive. My heart, and all its emotions: anger, bitterness, frustration, hope, joy, and rememberance will.

Thanks to all of you who believe. I do.

You Can't Eat An Elephant In A Day

2009-03-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

This is what our Share training guru keeps saying. She sees us ready to flip our blinders (and you all know I have a very effective pair!) and jump into a a new project wanting to see implimentation in moments. With an all knowing smile she says again, "Cara - you can't eat that elephant in a day."

She's right of course. Just like I couldn't grieve my baby girl in a day, or a year, or eight. This is a forever process and I keep learning like everyone else about parts and pieces that I "thought" I had assimilated.

The quantity of tears that have poured out of me this weekend as we cover topic after topic astounds even me. I have realized so many profound things about harbored feelings, all of which I will write about - no doubt.

But for today's show and tell I present a statue of great beauty and meaning.

The Christmas Box Angel - one of five erected across the country - here in St. Charles, Missouri.

She stand for hope and peace in memory of each of our angel babies. Thinking of all of you tonight.

What are you showing and telling?

Yeah - Yeah...He's Pretty Great

2009-03-03T05:02:00.000-08:00

"So, what do they like best?" DH asked. I started to read the comments out loud and realized just how many lovely things had been said about him.

"Ooooo" I joshed, they like YOU!

"Wow, he is really talented."
"Your husband sounds awesome!"
"...your darling hubby"
" an awesome life partner"
" your husband is awesome"
and
"You've got a keeper -- talented and sweet!"

At this last one, he blushed a deep crimson. "Well, I'm not for sale...so what product shall I make a few more of?"

He's in the workshop as I type putting the finishing touches on the the tile pieces. And, you might have noticed that I'm moving the pictures of each product under the poll on the sidebar. I'll keep adding if you keep voting. (He mentioned something about ornaments last night - can't wait to see!) AND REMEMBER - THE ONE THAT GETS THE MOST VOTES WILL BE THE FIRST RAFFLE-WAY!!

Oh- and next time you hear from me ....you could Meeeet me in St. Looouis as that is where I'll be for the Share National Training!

I'll post from there for sure!

Show and Tell - Achievement

2009-03-01T05:35:00.001-08:00

You know that sense of achievement that washes over you as you finish a long standing project? The waved of accomplishment that you did something big, and it feels so good?

I could see this on my sweet husband's face as he carried each memory box into the dining room, gently placing each on the table.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked, knowing full well what his answer would be. But that was his moment.

"Setting these up so you can take a picture, of course." He grinned - also aware this was an all for show conversation, but - hey - he deserved it!

As I walked to get the camera, he dissappeared back into his workshop. A quick scan of the table showed twenty boxes. What could he be after? I wondered. He emerged with this.

I gasped when I saw it. "Hon, this is gorgeous! What is it? When did you make it?"

"I kinda got...inspired" he said, blushing - "I was thinking...I might...have you help me start one of those eetsie shop things." I just drank him in in that moment. My husband who has made so many life changing decisions in the past two years. He is truly astounding.

I mean ...just look at that angel he made! And the interior.

"Well...what do you think?" "OF COURSE!" I answered, putting my already crazy hat-revovling schedule in the back of my mind. "Of course I will."

"Great!" He said, gaining enthusiasm. "I also made this one. It is simple - but classic. People could use them for whatever they like, not just a memory box or a contempary urn"

"But, instead of making lots of stuff that no-one wants and just sits in my workshop, I was thinking I'd make one of each of my ideas and you could post them on your blog. Your friends could weigh in with what they like and if they were to buy something from the shop what their top choice would be."

Um..he's smart too - no?

"And, I added - what about these first "trial runs"? (which - by the way look damn near perfection to me!) "Could I use them as monthly raffle-ways for Share Southern Vermont?"

"SURE!" he said...and that was that!

So...check this out! Below are:

A super-thick, rod-supported cutting board

A hand designed tile serving tray

And the matching hot-serving dish. (THESE ARE NOT DONE YET! THEY WILL HAVE A GOREGOUS RED GROUT TO COMPLETE THE LOOK!)

Thank you to all who voted in the "what to win?" poll. I am working on finding someone local to help me design a personalized charm necklace / bracelet.

The timing couldn't be better! I am replacing the poll with his sample creations. Please - even if you are just here for Show and Tell, vote for what you would be most likely to purchase, and - if you like what you see...send your we-like-homemade-stuff-for-a-good-cause friends this way!

The item that gets the most votes will be the first RAFFLE WAY prize!

He's still creating...so come on back to see what's new!

And, don't forget to go see what everyone else is showing and telling!

A Bill Of Interest

2009-02-27T11:33:00.001-08:00

I got this emai today from Share National. You can click over to the symposium or email me if you would like to see the bill itself.

Small steps...

Hello everyone,
I wanted to bring your awareness to a First Candle event in Washington, DC. I have known about it for a few weeks but have been waiting for the bill information before I brought awareness to this. The bill presently only includes SIUD and sudden older child death (up to 4 years). This is my concern and I have verbalized this to First Candle. They assure me a sister bill will be written that will address stillbirth. You can check out the symposium information at www.firstcandle.org/2009-symposium. I am attaching the bill so you can peruse it and share it with your members. I will inform you of any updates of this bill and sister bills I receive. First Candle is hoping bereaved parents will attend this event.

A Temporary Roadblock

2009-02-26T06:22:00.000-08:00

If you are following SSV's progress with community outreach - then you might like to read this post - over at Building Heavenly Bridges.

It is a pothole, a temporary roadblock. WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

A Resonating Voice

2009-02-24T10:14:00.000-08:00

I have been posting a really intense grief series at Building Heavenly Bridges in the last week. It is an exploration of my grief, now - 8 years later, and how on certain days it doesn't look or feel very different from the day Emma died.

If you are a looking to nod your head and know that what you are feeling is akin to what others suffer regardless of when you felt your loss, then head on over and cry with me.

Part 1:http://buildingheavenlybridges.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-breakdown-part-1.html
Part 2: http://buildingheavenlybridges.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-meltdown-part-2.html
Part 3: http://buildingheavenlybridges.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-meltdown-part-three.html

The rest will follow soon, and - as always - if you need an ear, email me...any time!

In Grief and Love, (until our next meeting)

Cara
carajer@tds.net

Show and Tell - Memory Making Update

2009-02-14T12:32:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, THIS was my show and tell...

Today - that amazing man called me out to take an "update" picture.

Who knows? Maybe next week I'll have to take long shot of 20 FINISHED BOXES!

Who else is S & Ting?

Finding Roots - And Burying Them!

2009-02-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to announce that Share Southern Vermont has FOUND ITS HOME!

I would like to thank the Springfield Health and Rehab center for letting us meet there for the first two months. It was so kind of them to open their doors without question, but we have finally found a location that feels calm, quiet, and homey.

It is the perfect place to talk about our losses. It is also MUCH easier to find in the dark!

Share Southern Vermont now meets in the Community Room of the Whiting Library in Chester Vermont! Located at 117 Main St ~ Chester, VT 05143 (if you want to mapquest it)

This - is what it looks like.

This - is the sign out front.

However - park here - in the back lot

And enter down these stairs and in this door.

I don't have a picture of the meeting room - but trust me - it's nice!

So, PLEASE JOIN US – THE 2ND WEDNESDAY OF EACH MONTH – AT 7PM. Our next meeting is Wed, March 11th - 2009!

Yo! Check Us Out!

2009-02-10T07:37:00.000-08:00

http://www.cnn.com/

put in zip code - 05153 - then scroll to the bottom inset that says...Local News!

And...spread the word.

The Wings of Time!

2009-02-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

I cannot quite believe it but our next meeting is fast approaching. I sat in Carol and Greg's meeting on Jan 28th and the wheels-they-were-a-turning in my head.

I watched in awe as they fielded emotions and how-do-you-survive questions like pros. I marveled at how the maintained the perfect balance between "After Charlotte died" responses and blanket grief-based theories to support the needs of each hurting person in that room.

I loved seeing the vast sea of participants. The woman who has been there from day one and the one who just lost her baby last week. I loved seeing that couples come together. I could see what a great difference they were making and how our group would grow to do exactly the same thing.

I'm taking a page, or rather - a poster board - from Amy so if you are coming, look for signs in the entrance way and hallway to help you find the room. They might not be quite as awesome as hers, but they will do the job!

And - as always - there will be chocolate and tissues.

Hope to see you next wed - Feb 11th - at 7pm.

January Prize Pack Winner Revealed!

2009-02-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

The winner of January's prize pack (pictured above and on the side bar) is...... number 14! There were 16 entries raising $80 this month! Thanks so much to all who donated and entered!

Oh- you are wondering who #14 is? That would be Stephanie! Congrats and enjoy the prize pack. Email me with your preferred address (carajer@tds.net) and it will be shipped to you this week.

And please - to all who would like to donate and win...weigh in on the poll at the bottom of the blog. You might just see what YOU want next month!

Two Days Late and Uncounted Dollars Raised

2009-02-02T15:12:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will reveal the winner of the February Share Southern Vermont Raffle-Way!

We had a bunch of last minute enteries!! Woo - hoo!

However, I am getting the feeling that although I find scrapbooking addictive, other's - less so. So, in an effort to streamline what I give away and maximize entrants - I have placed a poll at the bottom of the blog.

The question is: "What hobby would you like to see a SSV raffle-way geared toward?"

You can pick multiple items. You can pick other, then email me.

I will try to mix things up month by month so you, whoever you are with whatever floats your free-time boat, can have a reason to enter and - hopefully - to WIN!

As the shortest month of the year, February will be the voting month. We will resume raffle-waying in March. (NOTE: This should NOT prevent you from donating just because if you feel so inclined!)

So - weigh in so there can be a pot you WANT to win!!!

Call Me Crazy!

2009-01-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

But nothing...not even THIS

is going to stop me from getting to Northhampton tonight. The plans were made two months ago to be a guest at their Share meeting, to watch and listen, to learn and (the best perk of all) to stay over at Carol's house and pick her brain about start-up until she felt like she'd taken three final exams in a row!

Ok - it looks nasty out. All right - it IS really nasty, but I'll go slow and I'll make it. And, what I take away from the experience will far more valuable than the effort it takes to get there!

Even so - want to shout out a quick prayer for my safe travel? (A confirmation of my nuttiness would be allright too)

Show and Tell: The Making of a Memory Box

2009-01-24T10:44:00.000-08:00

"...the Tyrrells are going to offer something tangible for grieving parents to hold onto. Jeremiah is a craftsman and has created what Cara calls a memory box, a wooden box in which parents can store mementos to remind them of their child. Jeremiah will make the first 20 boxes before turning the project over to the industrial arts students at Green Mountain Union High School in Chester."In a way, this might prepare them, because chances are one of these boys and girls will be touched by this later in life," Cara says." - Rutland Herald Article

And how I hope my words are lies. I pray that none of these boys and girls that make memory boxes in the woodshop class are ever touched by childloss. But, the statistics are against me - against them. Chances are, at least a few will utter the words, "Oh My! Now I know what that crazy lady and her husband were trying to do all those years ago."

And so...The Making of A Memory Box (or 20 - all at once!)

The Tops

And Tops...and More Tops...and Lots-O-Feet

And Stacks of Sides...

Edging, Edging, Edging

And what job is complete without a little helper, who was "very busy" taking tape off the I-don't-know-whats.

And then there is the glueing. He stresses the word for the sheer masses of glueing one must do to create the finished box. Although my dear husband will never read this, I must say - Thank you my sweet for supporting this mission in the way you know how - woodworking. Your talents are much appreciated.

Thanks for checking our production line out and - now - go see what everyone else is showing and telling.

Laughter and Understanding

2009-01-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

Thanks everyone for your ability to laugh with me. The love and understanding I feel through this glossy screen is just amazing.

Now, to get a few bodies in the room - in the state that I live in!

Seriously, I KNOW its coming. This vision is so clear and the need is so great.

Wednesday, I am going through two local towns and distributing the brochures and cards!

So - I bid you adeau until next week's show and tell...

Come on back for ...."The making of a Memory Box!"

In grief and love,
cara

Show and Tell - Beliefs and Realities

2009-01-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

SSV's site is a Show & Tell virgin, but it's time has come! With our first meeting under our belt and a HOST of ideas and planning happening - it is time to SHARE with you.

First, let me tell you a few things about my belief system. I believe it is important to:

1. Always be 5 minutes early.

2. Always be well prepared, obsessevily prepared is better.

3. Always bring chocolate when you bring tissues.

4. Always admit your mistakes

5. And - (most importantly) - ALWAYS be able to laugh at yourself

With that said, it's storytime.

"Oh God, please let some people show up. Just a few. A good beginning, core group." I said to myself as I drove to meet the one other bereaved mother I knew was coming. The box shifted in the backseat. It held everything I thought I needed, and more, to run an effective first meeting.

It held the buntings, a small lending library, my binder, Emma's scrapbook, the first memory box, pens, napkins, tissues, parent packets and CHOCOLATE!

We arrived at the gorgeous building that had been erected only two years ago. Wow - we really are so lucky that a meeting room was available. I thought as we walked in the front door at 6:30pm. (meeting started at seven)

"Hi, Can I help you?" the lady at the very formal sliding window asked with a skeptical glance.

"Oh, no thank you" I said "We are with Share - pregnancy and infant loss support. Scott will be meeting us in just a few minutes to show us to our room." He had told me so when I confirmed on Monday.

"Um, Scott?" she said, clearly confused. "We don't have any Scott on staff and I know nothing about your group." Still, and speaks to the work I have done this year, I wasn't panicked - or worried in the least. That is, until she said, "And I do all the room bookings for the whole building."

Are you laughing yet? I did. What else was there left to do?

I micro-managed. I folded brochures. I stuffed parent packets. I created an agenda. I called to confirm. Ah yes - that call.

This is HCRS - The Health Care Rehabilitation Services Center (a state run office)

Nice, huh? Well - it is NOT the building I had been calling.

This is the Health And Rehabilitation Center.

It is GREAT! It is perfect for us! It is where Scott had been waiting in the lobby for 20 minutes.

We rushed over as my prayers did a 180. "Please God, DON'T let anyone else come. Please! Please!" I mean, what could be worse than finding the courage to attend your first support meeting only to arrive at the wrong building and be re-directed across town?

And so, my prayers were answered! My meeting partner and I were the only two. It was a perfect first meeting. We got a great deal done. We began planning our Mother's Day memory walk. We drafted our brochure and cover letter for doctor's offices. And, the best part, we got to know each other even better, sharing more of our loss stories.

And within 48 hours... The flyers were done.
The business cards were done.

And we have begun distrubuting to local offices.

So - let's review:

1. Always be 5 minutes early. (just barely)
2. Always be well prepared, obsessevily prepared is better. (check)
3. Always bring chocolate when you bring tissues. (what do you think was in the plastic bag?)
4. Always admit your mistakes (I just did!)
5. And - (most importantly) - ALWAYS be able to laugh at yourself (I still am, are you?)

I leave you with this:

If you are from the blogosphere - thanks for reading and laughing with me.

If you live locally and plan on attending the group someday - know that I will never have expectations of you. Clearly - I have no right - as I can't even call the right number! I WILL, however, always be early, set up and ready with tissues and chocolate.

But, please, come to the Springfield HEATH AND REHABILITATION CENTER at 105 Chester Rd. for I WILL NOT be at the HCRS building - again- looking sheepishly at a phone book where a four letter word, or lack there of, sent me uptown when I should have been down.

A Born Leader

2009-01-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

That is what everyone used to say to me. And - with good reason. I was born with leadership qualities!

I organized the library in my room in alphabetical order at 9 years old. Then created a pre-excel spreadsheet just in case you decided to check one out.
I was the kid all other kids nominated to do stuff (probably because they didn't want to do it themselves - but hey, I got a reputation)
I made my own Babysitter's Club Activity Travel Box. (ok maybe that is more nerdy than leadership)
I attended the Governer's Institute over the Summer!
I was the chosen state delegate for HOBY - (Hugh O'Brian's Youth Leadership Foundation) [Remember Wyatt Earp?]
Ect., ect., ect.

This not an excerpt from my resume, well at least not my current one, but a way to demonstrate that I have never feared leadership roles. I embraced them.

But tonight I am nervous. 48 hours from now I will be sitting in a room with other bereaved mothers facilitating a communication session that is supposed to make them feel like they accomplished something by coming. The optimal result is someone walking out the door thinking, This is something I am going to do for myself every month because I need to - because it feels good to sit with other people who know this kind of pain.

I read the guidbook. I copy and organize papers - packet for new participants, website information and literary resources. But, no amout of preparedness or strong-arming leadership will gain me that result.

It is time to have faith in the process, yet again. It is time to accept that whatever happens in that room, I can handle it.

A few words of encouragement wouldn't be discouraged. And, if you feel like feeding the "need-to-control" beast and have attended a Share meeting before, comment with your advice on what worked for you, what didn't, and what you always hoped to see in the future.

In grief and love (and faith!)

Cara

WELCOME...

2009-01-09T04:02:00.000-08:00

To the Share Southern Vermont (SSV)homepage! Our first meeting is this Wednesday and if you are local and would like to attend please see above for details.

To the blogoshpere at large...a question:

As a chapter of Share National 5% of our annual fundraising efforts are donated back to the National office.

We, SSV, would like to match that donation and give it to a miscarriage and/or stillbirth research foundation that is actively working to solve some of the mysteries surrounding why and how we lose our babies.

Do you know of any good ones???

PLEASE Comment with the name of the foundation and how you found out about them.

THANK YOU!!!